A letter to the friend of a missionary:
 |
| One of the most stunning flowers I've ever seen |
Dear Friend,
Your missionary is coming for a season of furlough (now called Home Assignment by some agencies.) What can you do to welcome them or help them? Much like a new neighbor or a visitor to your church they may have some practical needs or other, a little less obvious, needs.
Now, I have issues with that term, Home Assignment, but that is for another day. Let me just stand up right in front and announce that neither they, nor their children, are coming home. There is only one element of that word, home, that I can think of that may or may not even describe the arrival of your adult missionary. That is: home: a place where you grew up.
Please recognize that HOME is a multi-faceted word. Just think of the saying, “Home is where the heart is.” I can tell you right now, loud and clear, part of their heart and most of their kid’s hearts are the shape of their host country, and likely the shape of that furry pet they had to leave behind, perhaps the shape of an exotic fruit that isn’t available at “home”. Their hearts are certainly wrapped up in the memory of a favorite vacation spot. And, best yet, those hearts are the shape of the local and sojourner faces in that land.
Here is some insight into what they may have been going through in recent months. A huge part of preparing for a furlough is living a double life. They need to prepare for living back in their passport country and they need to do many practical things in their host country to be able to leave. Perhaps they need to sell furniture, find homes for their pets, store personal belongings they hope to see one day again, help their employees find new jobs or comfort them through the change (If you are wondering about that part about employees write me later; that is a whole other topic).
They likely have work deadlines to meet before departing. They certainly need to say “good-bye” to a host of people. Meanwhile attention needs to be given to children’s needs and their own emotional needs. And they must plan for that year +/- to come to be able to live somewhere and probably educate their kids. Of course, not everyone’s needs are the same. Some may need to plan doctor’s appointments and find a car to get around.
Whatever they have been through before getting on that plane, when they arrive they will likely need a hug and a comfy bed!
So, friend, when you learn your missionary is coming back please reach out to them and ask how you can help, how you can pray, offer them your ear, offer them a meal, offer the kids some Leggos or Duplos because they probably didn’t bring many toys with them. But by all means, don’t welcome them HOME.
Sincerely, a concerned friend.
P.S. I really don’t know why this is a P.S. aside from the fact that the letter was written and signed and then my husband chimed in.
VERY important! Don’t let the welcome end after the 1st month. Very often your missionary will arrive exhausted, very appreciative of your practical help. Then after some time of refreshment they will realize they have few, if any, real relationships outside of their 4 walls. Come back again and check on them. Invest in them.
 | |
| Another, most unique, flower; on a tree in the RFIS property |
The personal part:
So what have the Chiltons been doing to prepare for furlough?
Well, I bought a used toaster oven. “What?!” you may say, “I thought you were selling things!”
I am, but I also want to know if it would be useful for the time when we may come back and there are only 2 of us who need baked things ( Yes, our thoughts go from present, to furlough, and back to here).
We have been selling and downsizing for over 3 years now. That is not normal for the “average” heading to furlough missionary. Usually an overseas term is closer to 4 years than to 9 like it has been for us. And not too often do you need to downsize from a family of 9 to 2 (Considering hand me downs and storing many, many things over our previous furlough, yes, we STILL had things from the older children to get rid of).
We have been praying about and searching for homes for our beautiful dogs and I just recently got 4 chickens to care for and get eggs from. “What?” you may say again. Yes, I needed a distraction from the persistence of sorting, selling, trying to do the last bit of work related things for the mission as well as the emotion of it all. So, why not make friends with 4 laying hens to give us scrumptious eggs? (If you'd like to see more of how to create a home-made chicken coop then scroll to the bottom for images).
We have been guiding Channah through the process of college choice and scholarship applications and answering a lot of questions from both of the twins, like, How will I learn the safe areas and not so safe areas to go?, How will I live without – fill in name of delicious food here-? We have been looking for cars and a home. We have secured a furnished apartment here so that the last weeks in the country we can fully empty this home and sell or store the belongings. And, finally, we’ve been filling out countless forms so the mission is satisfied.
Between now and mid June we will have some significant “goodbyes” to endure, the yearly meetings with the entire population of the mission, more than a few school events and hopefully the chance to taste and see everything we want to so that lasting memory is in our souls.
And, for the record, part of our hearts are Cameroon shaped with mangoes, soursop, and guavas hanging in there. And the faces of our friends will forever be imprinted in our minds.
Home is a plural and our hearts are split.
By the way, if you do want to engage a missionary, their children, or any international worker really, in a meaningful way here are some suggestions:
*Tell me about the people.
*Describe your favorite foods.
*How did your family take vacation?
*How did you spend your free time?
*What are the seasons like compared to here?
*What is the purpose of your work? Any memorable accomplishments?
*Do you have concerns about being here for this time?
What NOT to say: “ What’s it like there? Do you like it?” Just reverse those questions onto yourself and you may figure out why they are hard to answer.
In general missionaries might not very good at small talk so if you want to chat, be prepared. Oh, one last thing; they may want to know some things about current life where they find themselves now. Offer to tell them about the recent sports seasons, current common topics for conversation, best new restaurants, etc.
I hope you haven't gotten the wrong idea. We are definitely looking forward to coming and visiting!
Thanks for listening.
Making a coop with Earnest's help. Mostly it is made from scraps!
No comments:
Post a Comment